Sunday, September 18, 2005

Appreciating the Positive in Our Lives....

Hi Ladies. I really have struggled with maintaining a rational, positive outlook at times in my life. It seemed to be very related to the eating disorder -- sort of an overall negative outlook on life. I have a long way to go, but learning to appreciate the positive things in my life has added to it's quality and the richness of my experience...Any thoughts on this?


Amanda - Thanks for keeping us posted on your progress. We miss you. College is such a big change...so much independence -- so quickly. It is a lot to process, not to mention all the hard work, needed time management, etc...It is okay to feel overwhelmed by it -- I think a lot of college freshman do--and venting here is a great outlet for growth. One of our dearly loved group members recently said that she is trying to say one positive thing for every negative thing that she says....I was really inspired by that...it seems that a big part of eating disorder recovery is becoming more aware of the positives in our lives and focusing on that more than the negative....easier said than done, I know....I am working on this skill though, and trying to see more of the positives in my life....the payoff is I feel better and life is more tolerable, even pretty darn good at times.....want to pal up with this group member and me and try this out with us. It is simple -- we say one positive thing for every negative thing.....??? Anyone else game to try this out?

Jamie- You are so supportive and kind spirited in the way you relate to others. I watch you and listen to you in group and am amazed at the depth of your sensitivity toward others. Also, you are so soothing and encouraging and accepting when others express their pain....what a lovely, lovely, lovely soul you have!

Celia- You have obviously done a lot of hard work to have the recovery that you have! It is so exciting and encouraging to see! You said " I hate being a burden. The benefits of actually telling someone are worth the risk though. I think a huge part of recovery is being vulnerable with someone we trust, meaning letting out the pain and darkness that is in us. I think a person has to be emotionally mature and stable to be able to listen"...........Wow, that is beautifully said, and I agree entirely!! Being heard for who we actually are, accepted for who we actually are and even loved for that, worts and all, is so healing....so healing that it is worth the risk to lower that mask with safe people and allow them to see who we really are....

Jeanette - I hope that you are continuing to take care of yourself and resting. Have you broken out those new dishes yet? :) It was nice to have you back in group last Wed. night....I have missed you and your wealth of experience and insight that adds so much to the group.

Warmly,

Jacquelyn

6 comments:

Jamie said...

^^ooo! hard core -dental insurance! yeah! (haha)

wait are you talking about me with the whole thing about stating one positve comment before a negative one? haha well, ok then! thats kind of cool thing if I started a trend! (haha even though it was just an agreement that I made with Carla to say positives with the negatives)
anywho...
thank you Jacquelyn for your generous compliment! I'd love to be a psychologist (after my dance career (of course)) so that I could support and help people all the time!
-and maybe (just maybe), if I can help other people find true joy happiness, then I myself, might finally become happy too...

yeah, so positive comment:
I have amazingly great friends!!!(-that includes all of you group people too, of course!!)
negative comment:
yeah, well I could go on and on with the negativity, but then I would have to write more positive things too...(haha):I am really really really hating school -I'm not sure why, but I'm so miserable and depressed there....I just wish I could give up, but nope...I've got to get an education! (ugh...) well actually, I've been miserable depressed pretty much everywhere except for dance (of course)...but then again, even there I'll just look in those ballet mirrors and been utterly disgusted with my horrid (FAT) body...bleh...
I don't know, but I've been so exhausted of living...no, I'll never ever commit suicide (at least I hope that I never will...no no no, of course I wont!)I'm just so sad, tired, anoyed, frustrated, angry, etc. that every morning, I absolutely DREAD having to wake up, go to school, and push through another day... ballet (and the occasional wonderful friends) are the only things keeping me from going insane and psychotic... but I still constantly feel so lonely and run-down...
will I ever be able to relax and enjoy life without all of this overwhelming chaos?!?
still, I wish it was all over...

Anonymous said...

Hi everyone. Jamie, I have missed seeing you. Good job on the positive statement. You are doing a lot just by getting up each mornig and making it through the day. That in itself is a huge success. I hate it also when you can not find a reason to get up in the morning to face another dark and lonely day. You are strong and you will make it through this.

For everyone in group tonight, you all really touched my heart. I want yall to know that you are very strong and you can fight this terrible disease. I dont want to give you a false sense of hope...it is hard and it is not easy to put one step in front of the other. Each day is a struggle but one worth fighting. I have weeks and days where I dont want to live, I dont want to eat, I dont want to be FAT. I hate it..I feel alone and scared. This happened just a few weeks ago. But there have been people in my life that hold my hand and help me back up. Find that someone or those people who can support you in good times and bad. Live for them if you can not live for yourself in the darkest of moments. I know that is why I am still here today...
Hang in there...
-Celia

Jamie said...

I'm sorry I missed group tonight! I decided that I didn't want to miss my wednesday dance class again tonight (because I felt so freakin FAT...so I needed the exercise...whoops!!)... anyways! I hope it went well! I was thinking of all of you the whole time I was dancing! -haha I almost left early so that I could come and see you all, but I decided against it. I'LL DEFINATELY BE THERE NEXT WEDNESDAY, THOUGH!!! YAY!
What did everyone talk about??
I hope I didn't miss anything too vitally important...
Celia, I'm right there with you through this struggle... and I'm just so emensly sorry that you have to suffer... Just so you know, you are always in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there!
I miss you all! I just wish that I could be with all of you guys all of the time! -That way none of us would have to feel so alone and afraid... I know just how terrible that feeling is...
haha, sometimes (-well actually not 'sometimes' but 'always'-) I just wish that I could adopt new parents,... haha but I guess it doesn't work that way! lol! o well!!! I onlt have two more years left in this dreadful place and then after that I can start over a new and (hopefully) much better and happier life! -That is what keeps me going: knowing that I have prosperous future ahead of me once I'm able to be more independent. I can't wait!!! It is going to be so much fun to be free!!!

Take care everyone!!!

Random Quote:
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. "
~ Plato

Jamie said...

whoops!! I made some typos!!
'emensly'= immensely
'I onlt'= I only

ok! The End!

Anonymous said...

Hey Gals!

Thank you all so much for your support, wisdom, and inspiration. I have been getting so much out of coming to group with you all and I just wanted to say thank you. This group is the thread of hope for me that keeps me working toward recovery. Trying to focus more on positives and being calm has allowed me to enjoy more out of life and to get a better perspective on how I want to live my life (goals I would like to work toward, etc...) I felt like I was so alone when I went through the refeeding deal last time. I'm glad that I know that I am not alone. I guess I never was, but now the circle is bigger. You all inspire me.

Thank You!
Linda

Anonymous said...

I wanted to thank the Ft. Worth group as a whole -- I joined you Wednesday night 11/16 and it was very impactful to me. I have thought a lot about you all, and wanted to check in. It has not been an easy week but I have been learning so much!
Funny question -- I got home and realized I was only wearing one hoop earring. I wanted to ask if anyone has come across it in the office? :-)

God bless you all this holiday,

Robin