"Excessive striving to be perfect will invariably lead to disillusionment, heartache, and self-hatred"...Albert Ellis
Perfectionism fits the personality profile of women struggling with eating disorders, in most cases, and is already present prior to developing the eating disorder. It is complex -- tied to a strong need for approval from others to feel good about oneself. Now, we all know that is a rollercoaster ride, right? Being dependent on our performance, appearance, accolades from others, etc. sets us up to never feel secure in ourselves just for being our wonderful unique selves! What do you think about this? How have you struggled with expecting perfection from yourself?
How has it hindered you? How do you combat perfectionistic thinking with more reasonable expectations of yourself?
Monday, October 03, 2005
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5 comments:
Jamie,
Both of your contributions are quite powerful. I can see myself and ED especially in the second message. ED's so much in my head that I cannot cry and cannot laugh. I just don't feel anything any more.
Hey guys! It's Megan. I miss you all SO much! I'm glad to see you guys blogging away. Jeanette, I'm so glad you're doing better, keep up the good work sweetie! So I know this blog is on perfectionism but I'm going to talk about myself! I'm in Austin as you know and things are going well. I haven't been able to really find an ED Support group here yet, but I'm going to my meetings and that's going well. The move and the adjustment definitely took a toll, and my eating went up and down, but I feel better and back on track. I really miss you all, it's so important to have a group of women who really understand you, and we are all so lucky to be or have been a part of such a GOOD group.
As for perfectionism, I can get really manic about it like the rest of us. IT's so important for me to remember that God made all of us, the way we are and that's really the way it's supposed to be. And in His/Her/It's eyes, that's perfect. I love getting really obsessive about school, work, being the perfect friend, girlfriend, student, nanny, etc........ But it's just not real. It's not a real thing. Perfection doesn't exist. But we exist, and we are real. I love you all dearly!
Stay in touch!
In case you don't have my card:
Megan
megmorrow@Hotmail.com
512.689.1554
Jeanette those lyrics are great! We miss you in group and hope to see you soon.
Jamie, your postings have been great. You are strong and amazing. I hope one day you will be able to see the amazing, beautiful, and talented girl you are!
I am a perfectionist in many ways, also slightly neurotic. I strive to be perfect in school, in appearance, in sports, in life! It is tiring and conumes my thoughts and energy. Each time someone tells me to be thankful for what God has given me, I remember we are not here to be perfect...that is not our purpose. If we were all perfect, then why did Jesus come and die for us? I wish I believed it in my heart and mind though. As much as I believe we are not suppose to be perfect, I can't seem to break the cycle of striving for perfection and not succeeding, hating myself for it, and then trying again...to fail one more time. I see other people who "seem" so perfect: their grades come easily to them, they are beautiful, happy, love Jesus, etc. I envy them, though I know I should not. I wish I did not want to have a perfect figure, I know in my heart that wont make me happy...but still, I keep trying and trying...falling down over and over again.
I hope you all can one day believe that you are beautiful in every way! Perfectionism will not make us happy, it never will! We can never be perfect.
p.s. I just posted the comment above
-Celia
Hello Everyone!
Sorry I haven't posted sooner. I've been in treatment one month now, but things are going well. It's certainly not fun or easy by any means, but I'm glad I'm here. I am ready to move on with my life without an eating disorder; it's just not worth it.
I think about you all often and I hope everyone's doing alright. I can't wait to get back to Texas and to group to see you all
Stay strong
jessie
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