Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Feeling Alone

Eating Disorder Hope
It has been estimated that 8 million Americans have an eating disorder, seven million of those being women and one million men. Having any problem can make one feel alone and isolated from the rest of the population. When fighting an eating disorder it is you vs. your body and this can make you feel very alone. So many people battle this disease daily and have conquered it! How do you stray from the isolated feeling? Does going off to inpatient clinic make you feel more alone?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I try to stray from the isolated feeling by surrounding myself with positive people. I try to do things that make myself feel good and not focus on OTHERS so much. I have always been a people pleaser and I used to always worry about making others happy when I was in such misery myself. I had to stop worrying about others and what they thought of me because I was literally making myself sick from worrying all the time and stressing out over simple things.
I also express myself more and tell others how I feel when I get too angry, lonely, or upset. I used to suppress those feelings to a great length of time and turn it into negative behavior. I can NOW share my feelings with others without being hateful (yes, this takes time.) If they become upset or angry with me then this is THEIR issue, not mine. I have gone to great lengths and have worked really hard when it comes to expressing myself. I used to have a very hard time with this. It was time to put myseklf first-- for once! It takes time and a lot of positive self-talk. It might sound silly to some but it does work. I just had to learn to become more patient with myself as well as others.
As far as inpatient goes, I have been to hospitals and residential treatment centers. My very first place was a total disaster for me because I didn't allow myself to feel connected with others and chose to still remain isolated from the outside and inside world. I strongly believe that treatment is what you MAKE it to be. It was a bad experience because I MADE it so. People were there for me but I wasn't willing to let them in my world or try to get to know me or help me. I chose to be stubborn and not gain any insightful information and just totally blew off the program. BIG mistake.. I left AMA and then went to 4 more places and the same thing happened. I kept thinking to myself, gosh I am not that sick. These people are nuts.. HA! (I was so one of them.)I FINALLY went to one more place a few months later..
I was MORE "ready" this time and I was ready (my favorite saying), to throw the towel in. I love it. I was ready to give up the control and let professionals help me and intervene. This was really really hard because I love control.... I just had to make the first step and sign the dotted line and let others drive the bus for awhile till I was stable enough to take over. I met some really exciting people and I opened up my world for others to listen and made lots of new friends. I have been in recovery going on 6 years now and my last experience inpatient was a great experience but it was because I MADE it so. I focused on the positive and learned that I am NOT alone in the world of eating disorders. It is amazing how many people out there are "silenced" when it comes to this disease. There are more people out there suffering than one really knows about. You just have to be ready to take the bull by the horns and take action... It takes a lot of perseverance and patience.. If I can beat it though-- ANYONE can.. Hang in there folks! Life can and DOES get better if you learn to let go and allow yourself to enjoy the finer things in life.