Sunday, November 20, 2005
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Eating Disorder Hope Blog
The Eating Disorder Hope Blog provides information, resources and hope to eating disorder sufferers, their loved ones & treatment providers. Find recovery tools, articles library, virtual library, treatment provider options and events for individuals struggling with bulimia, anorexia and binge-eating disorders. Follow us and stay informed and motivated to recover!
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11 comments:
Hi Ladies.
I am inspired by your inspirational posts. Thank you for sharing such hard won wisdom.
Thought we might benefit from a place to share about Thanksgiving.
Warm regards, Jacquelyn
I have choosen recovery and I am soo thankful for that. I can't wait to finally ENJOY thanksgiving with my family. Recovery is so exciting and yes, challenging some days, but its so worth it!! God has given us a gift. A gift of life. I choose to be take care of the gift that god has given me. I choose to nurture my body with the nutrients that I need in order to live a happy and successful life.
It does sadden me that some haven't chosen recovery but thats ok. You have to WANT it. I remember living the NIGHTMARE of my eating disorder and spending many of holidays in the hospital. It's just not worth it to me anymore. I think that you have to really hit rock bottom before you really want and will accept help. I strongly believe that you can't practice recovery to the fullest unless you really WANT IT. You have to be sick of your ED and really want to throw the towel in.
I know some people do take their ED as a joke or are in deniall, but all you can do is pray for them. They are sick and need help but they have to WANT it. Try not to let it drag you down in your recovery. Focus on yourself and the goals you want to pursue in life. I know its tough sometimes and I am not saying its easy, but nobody ever said life was easy. If I can conquer an ED, ANYONE can. I am soo thankful that I am even alive today! Thank you God! I am thankful that I have a wonderful and supportive family and have food on the table to eat this year.
I get to enjoy thanksgiving 2x this day. A year ago I never thought I would of been able to make it. I did!! With hard work and perseverance I did!! I am so excited to be able to be with my family and enjoy the gift of life! Sorry for rambling on so much but I just felt that there needed to be some more positive energy in the air. I can't believe I am saying this after being up all night with my kids! lol. Hang in there everyone!!!!!!!
I just realized all the typos I made-- oh well.. That's ok. I am entitled to make mistakes in life- especially minor ones like these!!!!
I know what you mean about being in a million treament centers. I was the same way.. I notice some of the bloggers writing how I used to feel. I used to feel my eating disorder was a big joke and laugh and poke fun. Thought my therapist was a huge joke. I wasted so much money too of my families. It was a waste for me to go to therapy and to a nutritionist because I viewed it as one big joke and party. I look back now and I would LOVE to have the money now for other things. I could of bought a new house with all the money that was spent. HA! I finally had to get well on my own because I had been kicked off of every insurance plan there was. It was a full time job going to therapy and nutritionists and I wasn't doing or listening to ANYTHING they said. I had to finally come to terms with myself to WANT help. I don't care what treatment center you go to. Whether it be some local hospital, or Remuda ranch, nothing will EVER work unless you want it. You have to want it BAD and bad ENOUGH. It's just a waste of time to go to therapy if you don't want to even try to get well. It was a waste of time because I wasn't serious! I am soo glad that I finally hit my rock bottom even though it was a tragic thing.
I finally realized several years later how bad I was. I am not going to go into detail about it because I don't like to type things that could be triggering or harmful to others' recovery process. Unfortunately the internet has some devastating things about ED's. So.. I will leave it at that. I am just thankful to be alive and enjoy life. It's so nice to be able to go out to ANY restaurant and be ok with it. I am no way perfect but I am definitely on the right track.
I am extremely grateful to have such a loving and supportive family. I am very blessed this year. I wish everyone success in their recovery and don't give up!! You can do it!!! Fight, Fight.. I know that sounds corney- lol. Sorry. Just trying to be positive!!!!!!
Jeanette,
Yes, I can totally relate to YOUR blog! I have had therapists fire me too and I never understood why since I was paying them!! I now understand completely. I miss some of them though because you do get attached but I know it was for my own good. Nothing was being accomplished-- ever. I pray for others to not have to go through what I did in order to reach the point of recovery. Yes, eating disorders hurt loved ones BUT they mainly hurt OURSELVES.. We punish ourselves the most through disordered eating and waste our own life! I always wanted to be the best anorexic and the poster child for anorexics but now, NO WAY!I realize how SICK that was!! I just want to enjoy my life and live it to the fullest and the best to my ability. I regret wasting several years of my life with an eating disorder but it has been a HUGE learning experience for me. I have learned now how to enjoy the simpler things in life and I now realize that life is a GIFT. You can either take advantage of the gift of life or waste it completely but you can't go back and make up for time wasted. You can't ever go back in life and change back time. I wish I could but I think it was meant for me to change my life completely. It has been for the best.... Along with Jeanette, I wish for others to seek help before its too late and to really WANT recovery. It is soo worth it girls! Life on the other side of the fence DOES get better!
You betcha Jeanette! I will email ya!! I am glad you went out on a limb!!!! :)
I have to do this anonymously because everytime I try to enter my blogger name I get booted!! It won't let me respond to a post unless I answer anonymously. Oh well.. Darn internet problems! ha!
It was my pleasure Jeanette. I believe that to be in recovery you have to also work hard in surrounding yourself with positive people. I have to work hard (an everyday basis) with this but I have managed to meet some new and exciting people throughout the years. I try to do at least one fun thing every weekend and I write positive things about myself and tape it to my bathroom mirror and in my car. I try and write something new each week and repeat them aloud to myself.
I know it may sound silly to some, but it helps! It's only silly if you don't try it or even give it a chance. It feels awkward at first but now its just a routine for me. I enjoy myself a whole lot more now since I have chosen recovery through the years. I am much more pleasant to be around. I try to find people who are fun to be around and are uplifting. It makes life a lot easier. It's nice to have people to talk to and it doesn't cost you anything to talk to them. HA! Therapists are great and yes, I know they must make a living but its nice to have people to call on where you don't have to cut them a check everytime. Please don't get me wrong. therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, etc are great but its nice to have some "real friends" if that makes sense.
I have also really enjoyed going on picnics with friends or myself in the park and just enjoying the outdoors. It can be really fun and a cheap thing to do too!! I know this may sound REALLY crazy but I often dance to the song, I Will Survive." It's so fun to be able to laugh and enjoy things. I can actually enjoy being able to laugh out loud at myself in a good way if that makes sense. It is so fun to be crazy but be normal.. Whatever that is== ha!! Anyhow, sorry if I bored anyone but I just wanted to share some things that work for me. Hope everyone is having a great day!! Just wanted to share...
Yes,
This is why I love the picnic idea! No stress involved. No, I didn't mean to say to not hang around people who are still struggling. I should of worded it differently. Sorry.. I meant that its great to spend time with people at all levels of recovery but its important to make sure that they are not having negative effects or putting a damper on your own recovery. I think everyone whether struggling or not can have some sort of a positive impact on someone else's life. I think all of you have a lot to share and can really help others if you choose to do so.
Hey Gals! It's me, Linda. I have enjoyed reading the uplifting blogs.I agree with recognizing and giving thought to the different levels of recovery around us. When I see someone that is triggering for me, I try hard to remind myself of the pain and hard work that it has taken me to get to where I am today and that if I fall back to where that person is (where I was) then I am only making my life harder. I am happy to report that I was able to enjoy myself and my dinner ( and dessert!!!!!!!) at Tate's company party last night. I had the energy to take young dutchess for a long walk this morning! I also spoke with a dear friend this morning and really felt alive. Self talk has been really helping me with eating related anxieties. When I am overwhelmed I remind myself that my therapist would tell me that what I have eaten is ok and that feelings are not facts. I am working on being more in control and not letting my emotions and my ed control me. How difficult but liberating!
Hi everyone. Sorry I have not blogged in a while. I wanted to think all of you who were in group on Wednesday for being so supportive (as always). It is an amazing feeling knowing I can open up to ya'll, even if it is just a little bit. I have been slightly less overwhelmed by everything! :)
Linda I am so proud of you and all the amazing things you have been doing in recovery! I am really happy you are able to enjoy some things you have recently done.
I am trying hard to also focus on the positives about being healthy. It is terribly hard not to compare myself with my IDENTICAL twin sister and not envy her smaller size and "cuter" clothes. But as a dear friend said to me: "You dont want to go back there C, do you?" And for once, I can really say it is not worth it. I am just going to have to remember that when things are tough, esp. during the holidays.
I just hope you all know that even though feeling fat and disgusting is horrible, it "is just a feeling!" (my therapist is the best! she always says that to me!)
Anyway, hang in there sweet girls! Take care of you!
-Celia
Sorry I missed you all last night. Jessie, I am so happy for you. Keep up the good work! Your presence is deeply missed.
:) -Linda
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