Monday, June 27, 2005

Inpatient Treatment

What do you think are the pros and cons of inpatient treatment programs? What are the challenges that prevent you from going -- if you want to go? What keeps you from wanting to go? Has anyone been through this form of treatment and what was your experience?



AmandaR said...

I think inpatiend treatment is good....only if you are ready for it. When I went in my parents took me and was like this is what you are doing. I knew I needed it but I wish I had taken more from it. I did not want to be there so my 1st month was not good. Yes, even though my parents put me in and at 1st not wanting to be there at the end I did get stuff out of it but not as much as I could.
I think the pros of inpatient treatment is you are there with girls/women that are struggling with the same stuff. They so understand everything. Another thing is if you are ready for the help they are there to do everything to help you. 24-7 you have all the love and support you need and i feel like you feel safe there.
Cons to inpatient is the cost. Its very high and like my family we did not get any kind of help to pay. You are gone from your family but think if you have to be gone from them for 3 months thats better then being gone the rest of your life.
The cahllenges are money. Yea if I could I would say let me in right now cause it was easyer to be in treatment I thought. But money is a big thing. It cost so much.
I have been in treatment. It was at this time last year. I was there for a little over 3 months. my experience was a good and bad thing. Ummm I did not want to go so I did not try at 1st and then i tried cause I just wanted out kind of thing. Ummmm I wish my parents had thought about it more but at the time i was going down in health and it was for the best. If it did not cost so much I would go back to get more help I think. I think there is a lot of good places out there you just have to look.
Sorry this is so long. I can go forever and talk. So I will shut up now and I hope that everyone is doing ok. Cant wait to see everyone. I just want ya'll to know how much I enjoy getting to talk to everyone. Thanks

Jamie said...

Amanda, great comment! It is nice to hear information about inpatient treatment from someone who has actually experienced it firsthand.
I would love to go into an intensive inpatient treatment center so that I can be finished with this overwhelming disease. The problem is, is that it is insanely expensive. Now my parents are willing to, and could, pay for the treatment over time, but there is an up front fee that you are suppose to pay right away even before you start treatment. The cheapest up front fee price that we have found is $25,000 -which is ridiculous...and then you still need to pay the additional fees of everyday expenses which can ultimately add up to $80,000(there are some slightly cheaper places too)...and then you have to work with those idiotic, stubborn, flakey insurance companies...ugh how annoying...and so my parents said that they could ultimately pay for all of these absurd costs, but not all at once...and these inpatient programs want that stupid up front fee without any delay, and where is that money going to come from? I mean are we just suppose to mortgage off our house?? …or what? what do they if we could just take out a loan or whatever and pay it over many many years, that would be fine...but how insane -to have to pay all that money all at once...?!? do they expect people who are really struggling and are really sick to get better if it isn't even financially possible? they say that you can't put a price on your health...that’s a load of crap...but whatever...that’s isn't always fair...nope...too bad... I really do hate is so freakin has created so much turmoil and chaos and diversity and negativity...there has got to be another way to run things in this world...blah i hate politics and economics and all that ludicrous crap...gross...

Ok, sorry, that got sort of off topic...this post is not about money, it is about inpatient treatment. lol

ok, so I think that the whole concept of going off somewhere for a couple weeks/months is an awesome plan -if you've got money growing off of trees...which is great if you do!...but if you don't, then there are other alternatives for treatment…going inpatient isn't your only option...outpatient is also proven to be very successful. You just have to find whatever works for you in your recovery process...

Ok! See everyone tomorrow! I can't wait!

Anonymous said...


Katie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Katie said...

Hello girls!

I am sorry I won't be able to make it tonight, but I wanted to share this with all of you. I know it's long, but please read it all the way through!! It's so inspiring.

Steve Jobs Speech to Graduates at Stanford

"I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college. And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents'savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting. It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example: Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky- I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating. I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over. I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animatedfeature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together. I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it.

Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes. I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closestI get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much." - Steve Jobs - June 2005

AmandaR said...

Wow...that was good. Thanks for showing that. I really enjoyed reading its crazzy its making me think about things now. Thanks a lot!!!

Jeanette said...

Katie that was awesome... thanks

Inpatient treatment....hummmmmm

I have a lot to say about inpatient treatment but maybe that is because I have been a MILLION times. First and most importantly in my not go until you are ready to go. Do not go because someone else wants you to go or thinks you need to go. It just won't work. You have to want it. Next...research the programs. Each program is a little different and some might work better for you. For instance..I am not into punitive treatment centers....I deal better with positive strokes then negative stuff. I will tend to run the other way from a punitive place. So be smart and research the different places. Next you always have to consider the money aspect of it all. In my ever so humble opinion if you are ready to change and ready to overcome your ED....then it does not matter if you go to the super expensive places or the cheaper ones (as long as they are both good programs). I have been to both extremes and in my opinion....sometimes you are just paying for the name of the hospital or program....I think some of the programs jack up their price because of their reputation.

okay...sorry I got long winded....I could go on forever...hope that helps.

Jeanette said...

For Amanda and anyone else who wants it.....

Here is my address at the treatment center I am going to this week:

Jeanette Henriques
Baptist Lutheran Medical Center
6601 Rockhill Rd
Kansas City, MO 64131

8th floor

I do not know my phone numbers yet...but I will let y'all know as soon as I do.

I will miss yall a lot!



eating disorder hope said...

Hi Jeanette!
Does this mean we will not get to see you at the meeting before you go?? I hope not! I wanted to talk with you in person about the experience of leaving for hopefully the best and most productive inpatient treatment program you will ever attend........
Well, if you are leaving before wed night -- please know that you will be missed! You have added so much insight to the group! I know everyone is wishing you the best on this big step!

Jeanette said...

oh no....I will be leaving Thursday. I will be there Wednesday night! I will miss the group so much. This group has been awesome the last month! The amount of support this group offers is amazing. I will see everyone tomorrow night.

Jeanette said...

I am getting so nervous about leaving tomorrow. I just want to cancel and not go now. I know that sounds really bad....but I am just so scared right now. I would rather stay at home. What if I am just wasting my time going up there? I really do not think I can get there is not a point in going. I don't really want to go and have to eat. I dont want to give up my laxatives and purging. But I don't want to keep feeling like this either. I don't want to be in and out of the hospital all the time. I just want to be ok.(whatever that means...)

sorry for the negativity.


Anonymous said...

The only option I have because of insurance, is Presby. I've been completely turned off by their program in the past, but does anybody have anything positive to say about them? I'm probably going to be forced to go because of all the medical complications. I'd appreciate anyone's response. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

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